I’m Still Hiding

Well, I am here writing this post, even though I don’t have a theme that I want up or the “reinventness” that I wanted. But here I am! Writing a post courtesy of Daydreamz Message Board about things I hide from people!

It took time and thought about what I would post about and I feel that I have to just write about what my first thought was: How I hide myself from people. I am one of many people out there with low self-esteem and absurd lack of confidence. I’ve always tried to be open and honest with people, and I usually am, but I also hide myself. I hide from making new friends, hide from trying new things and taking advantage of new opportunities. I’ve now hid behind motherhood, as my excuse to continue to hide myself. I sometimes also hide behind my true feelings and never make them as public as I’d like. You can even say I hide behind my blog, though lately there hasn’t been much to hide behind!

One of the biggest things I do, is hide behind my own advice. I am very quick to offer support and advice to everyone around me. Boy troubles? I’ve got a few words. Weight/Body Image problems? I’ll offer my support and figure out how to help you. But when it comes back to me being able to actually take that advice for myself, I turn it away and pretend like that’s the advice I follow. It’s kind of hard to not hide from yourself and others. Sometimes, life is just wired so weird that it has to happen that way. I know that I can admit to this, but can I change it? The pessimist in me says no, but the optimist in others say “Sure! Go for it! You can be happy!”. Time will only tell I suppose and until then, I am still hiding.

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10 Ways to Go Green and Save Green

How can we live lightly on the Earth and save money at the same time? Staff members at the Worldwatch Institute, a global environmental organization, share ideas on how to GO GREEN and SAVE GREEN at home and at work. To learn more about Worldwatch’s efforts to create am environmentally sustainable society that meets human needs, sign up here for weekly e-mail updates.

Climate change is in the news. It seems like everyone’s “going green.” We’re glad you want to take action, too. Luckily, many of the steps we can take to stop climate change can make our lives better. Our grandchildren-and their children-will thank us for living more sustainably. Let’s start now.

We’ve partnered with the Million Car Carbon Campaign to help you find ways to save energy and reduce your carbon footprint. This campaign is uniting conscious consumers around the world to prevent the emissions-equivalent of 1 million cars from entering the atmosphere each year.

Keep reading for 10 simple things you can do today to help reduce your environmental impact, save money, and live a happier, healthier life. For more advice, purchase State of the World 2010 – Transforming Cultures: From Consumerism to Sustainability, a report from 60 renowned researchers and practitioners on how to reorient cultures toward sustainability.

  1. Save energy to save money.
    • Set your thermostat a few degrees lower in the winter and a few degrees higher in the summer to save on heating and cooling costs.
    • Install compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFLs) when your older incandescent bulbs burn out.
    • Unplug appliances when you’re not using them. Or, use a “smart” power strip that senses when appliances are off and cuts “phantom” or “vampire” energy use.
    • Wash clothes in cold water whenever possible. As much as 85 percent of the energy used to machine-wash clothes goes to heating the water.
    • Use a drying rack or clothesline to save the energy otherwise used during machine drying.
  2. Save water to save money.
    • Take shorter showers to reduce water use. This will lower your water and heating bills too.
    • Install a low-flow showerhead. They don’t cost much, and the water and energy savings can quickly pay back your investment.
    • Make sure you have a faucet aerator on each faucet. These inexpensive appliances conserve heat and water, while keeping water pressure high.
    • Plant drought-tolerant native plants in your garden. Many plants need minimal watering. Find out which occur naturally in your area.
  3. Less gas = more money (and better health!).
    • Walk or bike to work. This saves on gas and parking costs while improving your cardiovascular health and reducing your risk of obesity.
    • Consider telecommuting if you live far from your work. Or move closer. Even if this means paying more rent, it could save you money in the long term.
    • Lobby your local government to increase spending on sidewalks and bike lanes. With little cost, these improvements can pay huge dividends in bettering your health and reducing traffic.
  4. Eat smart.
  5. Skip the bottled water.
  6. Think before you buy.
    • Go online to find new or gently used secondhand products. Whether you’ve just moved or are looking to redecorate, consider a service like craigslist or FreeSharing to track down furniture, appliances, and other items cheaply or for free.
    • Check out garage sales, thrift stores, and consignment shops for clothing and other everyday items.
    • When making purchases, make sure you know what’s “Good Stuff” and what isn’t.
    • Watch a video about what happens when you buy things. Your purchases have a real impact, for better or worse.
  7. Borrow instead of buying.
    • Borrow from libraries instead of buying personal books and movies. This saves money, not to mention the ink and paper that goes into printing new books.
    • Share power tools and other appliances. Get to know your neighbors while cutting down on the number of things cluttering your closet or garage.
  8. Buy smart.
    • Buy in bulk. Purchasing food from bulk bins can save money and packaging.
    • Wear clothes that don’t need to be dry-cleaned. This saves money and cuts down on toxic chemical use.
    • Invest in high-quality, long-lasting products. You might pay more now, but you’ll be happy when you don’t have to replace items as frequently (and this means less waste!).
  9. Keep electronics out of the trash.
  10. Make your own cleaning supplies.
    • The big secret: you can make very effective, non-toxic cleaning products whenever you need them. All you need are a few simple ingredients like baking soda, vinegar, lemon, and soap.
    • Making your own cleaning products saves money, time, and packaging-not to mention your indoor air quality.

    Source

Happy August everyone :) I’ll be blogging more (hopefully)!

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What I Wish They Would Have Told Me

I was prepared to be pregnant. I was prepared for labor. I was not prepared for newborns and motherhood. No matter what the literature says, no matter what your mom says or the lady down the street, raising a newborn is a whole new experience. I’ve been a proud mama for almost 4 weeks but I tell you, it’s been extremely hard and frustrating! To add to that, no one really prepare you for postpartum depression. I suspect that I might have it or an extreme and lengthy case of baby blues but with those feelings in addition to raising a newborn, it’s tough. I don’t feel that I adequately bonded with Caden from the start which has led to my frustration. I know he is my son, and I know I love him, but I don’t feel it. Everyday is new so I am hoping that it gets better. In the meantime, I’ll be going to my doctor for PPD. And don’t even mention breastfeeding….

Otherwise, life is coasting right now. We are in the hospital for Caden for a Urinary Tract Infection. We had to be here for 14 days. It’s really really frustrating. I can’t express how much I want to get out of here and be at home. Marcus has been a tremendous help to me and I truly appreciate his help. I know he is dealing with fatherhood slightly different but I know its new and stressful for him too.

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The Birth Story

So here is my belated birth story for Caden :D Beware, it’s mildly TMI.

Since Sunday, 4/25 I had been having contractions, spaced at about 5-6 minutes apart and up to 9 minutes apart. I didn’t think much of it. I had an NST that Monday and went in to see that everything was fine with the baby and contractions weren’t regular enough for the CNM to be concerned. So I went home that night and the contractions were bad enough to keep me awake. Tuetsday morning I decided to go into the doctors office since I didn’t want to be sent home for the 5th time from the hospital. The CNM on call checked me and holy cow I was 5-6 cm dilated. Labor had begun! We rushed to the hospital and when I got there they were already waiting for me. I got undressed and hooked up to the fetal monitor and got my antibiotics IV in (I was GBS+). After about an hour on the machine, they took me off and said I could get in the tub, on the ball or walk around. I picked the tub, and let me tell you it was amazing. I was in there for a good hour or more. I got out and then got back on the monitors. By this time, my friends were there and we decided I’d go walking. Once I got back I got on the birthing ball. Let me just recommend that anyone who goes through labor get on a birthing ball. It was amazing in helping with the contractions.

This went on for about 5-6 hours (it was about 7 or 8 PM). I got checked again and was at 8cm. The CNM delivering me said that she’d want to break my water in about an hour or so. Once that time came around the water broke and found that little Mr. Caden couldn’t wait to have a bowel movement. There was meconium in the amniotic fluid but she wasn’t concern. By this time the contractions were much closer and stronger together. I got in the shower at this time and stayed in there for what seemed like hours. Once I got out, I felt like I needed to start pushing. So this was about 10:30PM. I pushed for 2 hours. It was the most excruciating 2 hours of my life. I got into several different positions, laying down on my back, on my sides, and on my hands and knees. Closer to midnight, the pushing wasn’t really progressing as I’d like (though there was never any talk about doing anything about it). From that point on I lost track of time but I know that between midnight and when Caden came, another doctor from my clinic came on and was advising on what to do. I had heard vaguely the word vacuum but didn’t even think much of it. At this point, I got a local anesthetic and the CNM told me she’d need to make a few cuts (I got 4 stitches). Once the cuts were made, pushing seem to come a little easier. The final minutes, I saw the neonatal team come in and everything getting ready for him and at that point I got the courage and strength to push him out.When I saw my baby boy, it was complete heaven. He was (and is) the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

Caden was born at 12:42AM on his due date. 13 hours of labor, no pain meds, no intervention (unless you count the anesthetic) and my baby boy was born healthy and happy at a 8lbs 12 oz. Of everything, having a natural birth is possibly one of my greatest achievements. I don’t think anyone who doesn’t do a full natural birth or any type of natural birth is any less of a mom because its everyone’s choice what they want. It is unfortunate for those who feel they don’t have a choice but really, I set in wanting and believing myself to have a natural birth and I ended up doing so. I don’t know if it was my willpower or what but I really wanted a natural birth and I had people who supported me in that decision, including my husband who didn’t let me give in.

Well that’s Caden’s birth story and I hope that his birth will be the start of something wonderful and exciting (a week in and it already is!).

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