So today I am 26 weeks pregnant, with 14 weeks to go (OMG). I think the biggest things that have been bothering me lately:

• Uncomfortable sleeping. I can’t sit still in one position throughout the night. Poor Marcus.
• Peeing every five minutes. Literally
• Waddling. I really really really don’t mean to but it just happens.
• Constantly having runny noses or teary eyes. It gets old, real fast.
• I eat. a lot. and often.

Other than that, I feel great! It’s not hitting me yet that in less than 3 months I am going to be a mom, holding my son for the first time! It’s really surreal. Having said that, I have been doing a lot of reading on birth, labor, postpartum, etc, and I am really embracing new ideas and techniques. I already know I’m breastfeeding exclusively, going to baby-wear, do a staggered vaccine schedule and probably most on my mind is the birth/labor. My plan is to do it natural. However, I can’t guarantee that because I really don’t know whats going to happen once I am in labor. I really DO NOT want pitocin because I do not want to inevitably get an epidural but I am still weighing my other options. I also am going to request that right after Caden is delivered that we have some time to bond with him before they whisk him away for weighing and measuring and what not. Other than that, I am pretty confident that Marcus and my mom will look out for the best interests of me and Caden taking into mind what I want and my beliefs are.

So what is the biggest issue with my pregnancy you ask? Well something that has absolutely nothing to do with pregnancy: a toothache. I have had this toothache forever but it obviously has gotten worse during pregnancy because I cannot take anything stronger than Tylenol for it. So I grudgingly made an appointment with the dentist for this Friday, only it’s not an appointment but a walk-in that lasts from 7:45AM-10AM..greeeeat.So my lesson learned? Brush your damn teeth and more than once a day.

So I had thought I’d take a hiatus for awhile because my life has definitely been open to a new chapter, but I really think that I do like blogging, I just needed some rest after the hectic month that was March. Wow it flew by though!

Obviously, I hope everyone knows I’m married now I can honestly say it doesn’t feel different one bit. The biggest change I see is that Marcus and I have a great time calling each other wife and husband. We honestly get a kick out of it. As I begin to change my last name, it’s also taking a hit on me that I am “grown up”. I remember being 18 when my aunt and mom would say “You’re not Grown yet…”. And now, I can at least be treated as an adult in their eyes (albeit some drawbacks …) and in others. I am finally finding my way through this world and making a name for myself, my new self as a Mrs. Of course, with marriage comes some pressure (mostly unintentional pressure) of having children. Really the pressure comes from me and my own fears/wants and it’s really the biggest thing taking a toll on us. Of course, I want to have children (and if I had my way, we’d be tring to conceive right now), but it’s the timing and thought process that is making me hestitant. What happens if we have children? Can we still do some of the things we enjoy? Can we still enjoy vacations? Of course, in the long run, yes, we could, but it’s really daunting to think that perhaps we never will again. I don’t know. Any thoughts?

But other than that, I’ve been feeling a bit depressed lately. I’ve finally managed the courage to go to the doctor and talk to them about my anxiety and depression. I never thought I had a “problem” but it’s so persistant that I figure going to the doctor couldn’t hurt right? and it could be so many other things that are affecting me, including the lack of money, my weight, and the aforementioned regarding pregnancy. But we will see. Luckily, I have a husband who is very supportive and even said he’d go with me to my first appointment.

I love my husband

So, Marcus started his new job on Monday. From what I hear he really loves it. I’m glad too, only we found out he will be working only part time for a while. So we are both planning on getting a second job when we return from our cruise. Hopefully it works out and I hope I don’t burn myself out either. which I have a habit of doing anyways. We’ll see. It’ll be nice to have extra money.

By the way, I just want to clear things up: I am not pregnant. Apparently I never realized that people would come to that conclusion! lol So I just decided to say that NO I’m not pregnant but I sure wish I was …

Don’t worry, you will all know in due time! It probably won’t be a surprise and to tell you the truth it’s probably one of those times where people are like “Really? That was the BIG surprise?..” but it’s exciting for me and definitely something you all will know very soon!

Other than that, it got a bit stressful thinking about money. We have contemplated cancelling our cruise, but honestly, this thing was paid for in full back in January. My grandma said she wouldn’t talk to me if I didn’t go on it!! But I promise to take a lots of pictures =D